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How to Move On After Your Divorce
People get married intending to spend the rest of their lives together. Unfortunately, not all relationships work out, even after having been committed to the partnership for a long time. A divorce is a stressful life event to go through, especially after years of commitment and having children together. After the legal process, it may take time to get over divorcing your spouse.
Why Do People Get Divorced?
Each couple is different, and the specific reasons for divorce vary, but there are several common reasons a couple will decide to end their marriage. Infidelity is one of the most common reasons a marriage ends. An unfaithful spouse has traditionally been a standard legal grounds for divorce, as they are breaking their marital vows. Other reasons for divorce include different aspirations, financial difficulties, or the loss of love for each other.
A divorce can be the most painful break up a person will face. An attorney will assist with creating a parenting plan for your children or dividing assets with your spouse, but how to continue after the divorce is up to you. It is essential to take care of not just your physical and financial well-being, but there are steps you can take to be emotionally healthy as well:
What Do Low-Divorce States Have In Common?
According to the American Psychological Association, more than 90 percent of individuals from Western cultures marry by the age of 50. Sadly, in the United States, 40 to 50 percent of these marriages end in divorce. However, while the nationwide average is high, not every state has such a high divorce rate. Statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau found that Illinois has some of the lowest divorce numbers in the country, with there being 9.41 divorced individuals for every 1,000 married couples in the state. Other states, such as Hawaii, New York, Vermont, and New Jersey, have similarly low divorce rates. What common factors do these states have that causes the divorce rate to be so low?
Why the Reduced Numbers?
It can be difficult to determine what the variables in a good marriage are. Studies of these states have found that there are commonalities they all share:
- Reduced Student Debt: A common cause of divorce is financial stress. A couple’s financial state can sometimes make or break their marriage, depending on their situation. This is especially common for couples in which one person works while the other stays at home. Large amounts of student debt can be an immediate burden added to a marriage, particularly if the working individual is using their paycheck to pay off their spouse’s debt. Many of the "top five" low divorce states had lower average amounts of student debt owed.
What to Do If You Think Your Loved One Was Forced into Signing Their Will
The instructions contained in a person’s Last Will and Testament are deeply personal. An individual usually thinks long and hard about how he wants his estate divided among heirs before putting these decisions in writing. According to Illinois law, wills produced through undue influence, coercion, force, or fraud are not legally-binding. If you believe that your loved ones will does not reflect his or her actual final wishes, you may be able to challenge the validity of the will in court. Challenging a will can be a complex legal endeavor. Help from an experienced estate planning lawyer may be necessary in these cases.
Did Your Loved One Have the Mental Capacity to Understand the Will?
When we age, both our bodies and our minds tend to weaken. In order for a person to be able to legally enter into a contract such as a will, he or she must have the mental ability to understand what he or she is agreeing to. This so-called “testamentary capacity" includes an understanding of the value of the property addressed in the will, an understanding of who should logically inherit this property, and the consequences of signing a legally binding document. Not everyone with dementia or another mental disability is unable to legally consent to a will, however. It is up to the person challenging the validity of the will to prove that his or her loved one could not consent to the document. In situations like this, the validity of the will may hinge on testimonies of the witnesses to the will signing, medical evidence, or an adjudication of incapacity.
What is the Divorce Process in Illinois?
Deciding to get a divorce is the first step to complete the legal process. Whether you and your spouse make the decision together, or it is a one-sided decision, the process of getting a divorce can seem overwhelming. Having experienced legal counsel will make the divorce process easier, particularly if any issues arise.
Illinois Divorce Laws
In Illinois, divorce is legally referred to as the dissolution of marriage. To file for divorce in Illinois, you must have resided in the state for at least 90 days. To begin the legal process, the first step is to hire a skilled divorce attorney who can complete all the required paperwork. Details about your marriage and your spouse will be included, including where you were married, places of employment, and addresses. These forms must be filed with the county court you are asking for a divorce. There will be a filing fee, and if necessary, a service fee.
After filing your documents, the next step is to notify your spouse with a summons notice. If your spouse is a knowing participant in the divorce, he or she can sign an Entry of Appearance. Doing this allows you to ask for a court date and skip your spouse being summoned. Otherwise, your spouse will receive the summons and return of service. Your spouse has 30 days from receiving the summons to respond.
Does Empty Nest Syndrome Cause Divorce?
Whether you call it empty nest syndrome or a mid-life crisis, many couples struggle when their children leave home and they go back to their previous “empty house” lifestyle. This life change can be a tough adjustment since a parent has gotten used to having their child living under their roof for 18+ years. Spouses are used to focusing on their child’s schedule and activities. This can make an empty house feel lonely and uncomfortable, sometimes so much so that divorce enters the equation.
What is Empty Nest Syndrome?
Although it is not technically diagnosed, the commonality of empty nest syndrome illustrates its wide-reaching effect. Feeling a strong sense of sadness and loneliness after your children have moved out is the telltale sign of empty nest syndrome. Other symptoms include a lack of identity, extreme remorse, and a lack of self-worth. This lifestyle change can lead to clinical depression and apathy toward your spouse. Many feel as if they no longer have anything in common with their spouse since they have shared their child and the duties of parenting for the past decade. Although this can create a distance between spouses, there are various coping mechanisms for those who feel their emotions may be causing conflict.
Am I Wealthy Enough for an Estate Plan?
Television and movies are partially to blame for vast misunderstandings about wills, trusts, and other estate planning tools. On TV, the only people ever talking about a will are older wealthy individuals. Some people may even believe that only the rich should make estate plans. However, nothing could be farther from the truth. Estate planning is a step that everyone should take, regardless of wealth or status.
Estate Planning Saves Your Surviving Family Members Burdensome Decision-Making
One of the most overlooked elements about wills and trusts is the benefit that they bring to the surviving family members of the deceased. When a person without a will passes away, their surviving family and friends are left to guess what the deceased person would have wanted regarding property and final wishes. This is a lot to ask of people who are already suffering the grief of losing a loved one. Even if your will only covers a few small pieces of property, putting your wishes in writing saves your loved ones from the emotional burden of making inheritance decisions on your behalf.
Paying for College as a Divorced Parent
Seeing your child receive a college acceptance letter is a proud moment for many parents. You get to see how your parenting, your child’s education, and their hard work helped them get an opportunity to pursue higher education. This can also bring financial stress. It is no secret that college is costly, especially for divorced parents.
Can the Court Make You Pay?
The Illinois court system, like various other states, was previously allowed to require a child’s parents to contribute a certain amount of money toward their child’s college fund. There is not an exact formula for calculating each parent’s required contribution. However, the amount parents can be ordered to pay cannot exceed the amount of tuition, room, and board for that particular year at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Determining these obligations can become even more complex in the case of multiple children, and depending on which parent the children live with, it could be difficult to determine who should pay what amount.
How to Create a Parenting Plan for Divorce
When getting a divorce, one of the biggest concerns is how decisions regarding children will be made between the former spouses. In Illinois, this is called parental responsibility, which dictates the important aspects of a child’s life. Decisions about medical care, education, and religion are made by the parents, who share this responsibility. Decisions about a child’s care are made through what is called a parenting plan.
What is a Parenting Plan?
A parenting plan is a court order that decides which parent sees the child and when, and how they are cared for. Although the time spent with both parents is rarely an exact 50/50 split, in most cases, the court will decide that the child will benefit the most from seeing both parents regularly. In lieu of "visitation" in Illinois, the term used is "parenting time," which is defined as time performing parental duties and care.
When creating a parenting plan, both parents will need to agree to terms. If an agreement cannot be made, the court will make a decision on behalf of the child and his or her best interests.
How is Child Support Calculated in Illinois?
When going through a divorce with children, setting up child support payments are an important facet for most divorcing couples. This is often legally required to try and balance the parental responsibilities and expenses of both parents. There is no set algorithm used by judges, however, there are a variety of factors that consistently play a role in determining child support.
What is Considered in Child Support Calculation?
The first part that is considered, aside from a parent’s finances, is the amount of time being spent with the child. Most parents share custody but do not equally divide their child’s time between one another. This can be too difficult on the child and the parents since a consistent schedule is important for a child’s success. As a result, judges have the parent who spends less time physically caring for the child to pay a set sum to compensate for the disparity.
Why You Should Consider Hiring an Estate Planning Professional for Your Will
Nearly everyone appreciates saving money on a good deal. However, when it comes to do-it-yourself estate planning, not every “good deal” is as good as it appears. Online estate planning services are more prevalent than ever, but many legal professionals worry that some of these websites are not being honest about how beneficial their services really are. Read on to learn about the pros and cons of DIY wills as well as how you can ensure that your estate planning documents will be legally binding.
DIY Wills Are Not Personalized to Your Unique Needs
One of the biggest differences between DIY or online estate planning services is that these programs are almost always one-size-fits-all solutions. Because these services have to work for a wide range of individuals, there is very little personalization to the plans. If you have complex assets, a blended family, a second marriage, or other unique circumstances, you are not likely to have these specific needs addressed by an impersonal website. Some of these online programs do offer personal advice from professionals, but this is often an additional service which costs quite a bit more.
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